jlj

How does the UK Government expect citizens to stay informed?

If I were posting this to Reddit, I'd have to add a 'serious' caveat. It sounds like I'm taking the mick, but I assure you, I'm genuinely asking.

I'm trying to walk a fine line, between bubble life and staring at a news ticker for hours a day. I've suffered with anxiety in the past, and, under these conditions, find myself putting in significant work once more to keep it at bay. I'm also working full-time, from home. So I can't spend a lot of time staying informed because: a) that's time I need to spend at work, or with my young family, and b) were I to spend too much of my remaining leisure time doing so, I'd quickly exceed the upper bound of my coping skills, seriously affecting my sleep and overall productivity in the aforementioned activities.

So, how should I spend that bounded window of time? Do a daily refresh of GOV.UK? To be fair, it doesn't look too bad right now, considering the sham that was the transcript of the PM's broadcast a week ago Sunday. (No, I absolutely cannot bring myself to listen to the man. I heard his voice for the first time in ages on Brooker's Anti-viral Wipe, and it just confirmed the wisdom of that decision.) However, the horses have already fled the barn on this point, to some extent: I had what I'll call an episode on 15 March — yes, it was bad enough that I remember the date — largely triggered by the complete lack of advice for me on GOV.UK at the time. (I was much better once lockdown was introduced the following day. Clear instructions, finally.) Now, even looking at the site elevates my heart rate, and, frankly, I just don't want to go there daily, unless it's absolutely necessary, and I'm convinced that every such visit will be quickly and clearly fruitful. (I have no such conviction right now, let me make perfectly clear.)

The PM sent a letter. Should I await another? Why or why not? It was issued at significant cost. Was that because the message was so important? Post's reach is still king in 2020? The Government wants to be seen to be doing something? All of the above? I have no idea, but I'd imagine there are vulnerable people out there right now wondering why even their local council hasn't been keeping them up to date in print. And while we're on the subject, only 61% of people aged 65 and over access the Internet, from home, daily, according to the ONS. The thought of turning on the TV to listen to our bumbling PM — happily, reduced to staccato bursts of nonsense, punctuated by headbutts camera-ward, in what I've seen of his pre-recorded broadcasts — fills me with dread; I'm betting I'm not the only one, particularly amongst the older, vulnerable population who are rightly becoming more risk adverse, and less able to parse political bafflegab.

Where does that leave me? Mostly, slowly absorbing things through friends and family, in chats and on social media, with the occasional (unpleasant) jolt from my BBC News app. When did their front page become a public noticeboard? Is that where I should allocate my precious resource of controlled, calm, daily attention? It seems silly. They primarily report, over inform, yes? I appreciate they're probably stepping into a vacuum at the moment — an informal FAQ for the daily word salad from HMG — but you won't be surprised to learn that this does nothing for my anxiety levels; nothing good, anyway.

There are so many things that people are (rightly) calling attention to when it comes to the UK Government's response to COVID-19. This, however, is a failure that hits home every day with me, and so, framed cumulatively, is amongst the most egregious of the harm they continue to do, if for no other reason than it is eminently more solvable than so much of the mire their incompetence has left us in.

— jlj

It feels like cloud exploded

I went to school, learned how to learn, learned a bunch about software at the same time, and then entered government; oh, and took a five-year hiatus, shall we say, to work (myself down to the nub) in the health and social care sector.

Then I came back, and the tech sector was talking about everything I knew in a historical context; and I mean, get a deep breath, 'cause we got loads of dust to scatter, historical context. Heck, I was just starting to get my head around virtualisation before I left everything that could be considered tech behind. And now I'm back with both feet, and the cloud, containers, automation, wildcard-aaS are everywhere.

Don't get me wrong: I am so excited to be back, and being paid just to get up to speed on all this stuff is beyond my wildest dreams, frankly. But, for example, today I'm trying to get my head 'round all the various backends Terraform supports (so that you don't have to risk exposing your secrets in static storage). And I don't recognise half the names:

• JFrog's Artifactory
• Openstack's Swift
• Tencent COS
• Joyent's Manta (which may or may not be related to Triton)
• And ten more

It is an exciting time to be alive. The question I keep asking myself is, how do all these companies make money?

End of Day 9

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

The Triumph of the Default, and Imagination

I finished Shirky's Cognitive Surplus recently, just before signing up to Fosstodon. I hadn't even heard of Mastodon before that. (Cory Doctorow, and his pointer to the work of deconstructing Plandemic, brought me to La Quadrature du Net and the rest is history.) Its default of private toots caught me off-guard.

Shirky suggests that new social systems should open by default. He quotes Kevin Kelly, the title of whose essay I used to head this post, saying that “engineers can influence the behaviour of their users.” From Kelly:

Therefore the privilege of establishing what value the default is set at is an act of power and influence. Defaults are a tool not only for individuals to tame choices, but for systems designers — those who set the presets — to steer the system. The architecture of these choices can profoundly shape the culture of that system's use.

Later, Shirky continues: under Improving the Odds [for new social systems], one section is Default to Social. “... [T]he careful use of defaults can shape how users behave, because they communicate some expectation... [that] has to be one the users are happy to follow...”

I can already see that Fosstodon is a community that values privacy. I suspect this default is broadly popular. Is it the default for all Mastodon instances? If so, it's an interesting choice.

---

A slower day. Running around on the green near our house. Family Zoom. Play-doh in the garden. And now, a few cans of Guinness.

It's extraordinary, to see how Abby's coming along, in this, her 13th month. Henry — steaming up on 3½ — at this age is vague memory: I had so much more on my mind at the time, clearly. Abby is cruising lightning, days from her first independent steps, I'm sure; little wonder, the way she idolises her brother.

Henry's stories become more elaborate every week. I enjoy being a fly on the wall. If he notices me, I'm required to react to the current drama; and with the smallest nudge, he's off, on ever-more-intricate plans and downfalls.

He has not asked about nursery. Not once. It worries me a bit, but my psychotherapist assures me that it's perfectly healthy at this age. I've sure enjoyed his cuddles today.

I hope they both find a way to preserve this seed of happiness — that we've welcomed to take over the garden of our lives right now — through their growing. My imagination was an escape from what I wasn't able to face; I hope his (and, soon, hers) continue to be the dalliance, the pure joy, that it clearly is now.

End of Day 8

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

Career Part II & Chess

After reading @gray's heartfelt contribution to the career discussion, I regretted my own glib remarks.

I don't think there's much point in elaborating on the path I've taken in my career if I can't synthesise a lesson or two: I don't know that catharsis is realistic in this medium, but years of therapy have made that point moot regardless. And there's far more entertaining things out there than my best efforts. Like @gray, I'm not prepared to put everything down; my family and friends (and my therapist) know, and that is enough.

Still, I think I'm equal to this challenge.

Lesson I: Protect yourself. We hear that repeated in a different context these days, but it will remain relevant whatever the state of COVID-19 et al in the future.

Three main ways I failed on this point: I over-invested in the job. I maintained boundaries and did no wrong, but, in my head, I was more emotionally invested in my client than was healthy.

(These three points are all connected. I hope I've chosen a narrative that makes sense.)

The second way was more fundamental: I didn't use basic safeguarding practice. In my defence, I was volunteering full-time in multiple roles, for multiple organisations, all in the health and social care sector, where I was completely green. No one had trained me in safeguarding. So, I was alone with this particular client, in their property, for many hours a week. And thought nothing of it. I was happy to help.

The third way relates to my ability to provide for my family more generally. I didn't consider that once I'd started working, doing so in the health and social care sector, where I continued to volunteer (in a reduced capacity, of course), would introduce a specific, serious risk: that of being barred from work, or even dismissed, based on a whole raft of potential problems in any one of my volunteering roles.

And then something did happen, and I wasn't allowed back to work for six weeks. With a two-week-old baby, and a struggling partner.

I don't think I'm suffering from hindsight bias: I do genuinely believe that there were ways I could've conducted myself to reduce the risks as outlined.

In summary, protect yourself, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially. Put yourself out there, by all means, but do so wisely, expecting the best from people, but prepared for much less than that.

Lesson II: Nothing is certain. Recent events have taken the sting out of this lesson, I feel, but, not so long ago, I went to my work at the time like very many things were certain. Chief amongst those was that the stack of paperwork I had in a filing cabinet at home outlining a very generous pension meant that I would get all of that money, and be very happy in my retirement; wealthy, in my mid-50s, with all the time in the world.

Obviously, without knowing anything else about my circumstances, you can spot problems with this statement. Reading about @gray's horrible sales experiences reminded me of the project I was assigned to manage, without proper training or resources; the details are irrelevant, but I know those eight months took years off my life, and certainly had me vomiting on more than one Sunday, dreading the week ahead.

Never mind that I (and my ex) were unhappy in our marriage, and, from all I can tell of that trajectory, would've continued to be unhappy in our retirement. And while all of the work was better than that stint as a project manager, none of it, in hindsight, was very rewarding. (And, yes, I probably am suffering from a bit of hindsight bias on that point.)

In summary, what I'm entitled to from that pension will not make me wealthy, assuming it is issued to me one day. And, more importantly, it, and the lifestyle that salary provided, did not and would not make me happy. You need to have money to live, but it's worth seriously questioning what sort of lifestyle you feel is essential to your happiness, because I find myself pleasantly surprised by how happy I am in my very different life right now.

If you've stuck with me, the title referred to one other thing I'll offload before bed: I decisively beat Stockfish Level 1 today, for only the second time. I know it isn't much, but I'm chuffed. I set myself a lockdown goal of improving my chess game — particular my mid and end games — and this is a measurable step towards that somewhat nebulous outcome.

End of Day 7

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

Learning Terraform

IaC is such a big topic. It's overwhelming, coming to it new, as I am. Absolutely loving it, and just the sheer creativity I'm seeing in every aspect, behind every new search. But it does make it tough to draw a line: will this hour, stretching out before me, get me closer to Terraform Associate? (Oh, I postponed the exam to next week, in the end.) For example, I'm new to AWS as well, and was wondering whether I should plough on with the course examples that were creating S3 buckets, which aren't part of their free tier — although very reasonably priced, it seems — or switch tracks to, maybe, learning Terraform's vSphere provider and deploying some stuff in our virtual lab environment at work.

Thing is, that's using AppGate to connect to ESXi, which is also new to me. It'd be beneficial, I'm sure, to flesh out my Terraform experience beyond the one provider, but would the time spent learning VMWare specific stuff offset that, when I'm looking at a deadline of early next week? Tough call.

It's a great position to be in, though. Kev talked about how his career has gone, and how much he enjoys where he is now. This job really fell in my lap, so precious little wisdom to pass on there, but goodness gracious am I a happy man these days.

End of Day 6

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

Study fatigue is real

Gonna be a quick one today — yeah, I know I've said that before, but I mean it this time — as I've gotta figure out whether I can actually pass this exam tomorrow, have tea, and then be social at the company's virtual pub quiz. (I bailed on the last one to study — for a different exam that I did pass \o/ — so I'm not doing that again.)

I did have a productive day, at least. So that's me batting .500 this week, I'd say. Not great, but better than I expected yesterday afternoon.

(Streeetch) 'K., got my Pumped! playlist on repeat. Home stretch; let's do this!

End of Day 5

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

This Life and Fire!

What a day! Not a productive one, at all, unfortunately, despite my best efforts. Well, maybe not my best efforts: I was the one who volunteered to step up as team leader for the virtual pub quiz tomorrow so that our actual leader can enjoy his wedding anniversary. (Or, in his words, so he can continue to have wedding anniversaries.) Didn't really need that distraction.

Then our neighbour decided to let their huge plant pot of cigarette butts accumulate to overflowing. Beyond that, I have no idea what led to the column of black smoke out our back window. Madness. This is why people don't like town-houses or row-houses or whatever the bloody hell folks call them in this country; can't think, I'm still so wound up about it.

But enough of that. This is supposed to be a part of relaxing transition from working to dad.

We watched the finale of This Life over lunch. (I've tried to write this next sentence seven times now. I don't know how to express how impressed I was with this show.) The writing alone was just stellar. It's set the bar, in my head, for a writing team: I can't remember how many different writers were credited over all the episodes, but it's like they were of one mind. Incredible. Acting was excellent as well. Directing was a bit hit and miss, but nothing too distracting. Well done, BBC, I say, and not for the first time.

I need a beer.

End of Day 4

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

Flow

OK, I have to knuckle under today. Friday is fast approaching. This will be my fifth certification exam in less than three months. The pace is tough, particularly with only a virtual water-cooler. I like working at home — and I've invested a lot in my (adjustable) standing desk and chair — but I think my ideal, in the future, will be a mix of home and office time. (Luckily, it's literally around the corner from me.)

I had a lot of short meetings yesterday, fairly spaced out. Already somewhat distracted, this was enough to completely kill the flow of the day; I simply couldn't get into my course. It was all, “Oh, I've only got 20 minutes until this,” “H'm, half hour 'til that.” The diary's open today, so I'm feeling more confident.

I'm really enjoying this. The technical aptitude test, combined with these certifications and a welcoming team, mean that impostor syndrome isn't a monkey on my back for the first time in living memory. It simply can't be overstated: the relief behind that statement.

OK, enough. Let the flow commence.

— jlj

Trump didn't tweet as much as I thought

I think it was someone else talking about Maddow, who referenced Trump tweeting 120 times on Mother's Day. This, as further evidence of the meltdown that was trending on Twitter. It's funny: as opposed to checking, I decided this would be my #Python project; to pull down statistics on Trump's tweets through Twitter's API.

Well, thanks to Andy Patel's blog post on F-Secure, I did get some code working that pulled down his total number of tweets, from over 4000 days ago until now: over 51000; that's an average of 12.65 per day! I wanted to break it down by, say, the last month, and then the last seven days, so I could alert on some sort of spike. I'm not sure the API is up to that; not easily, anyway. I think I'd need to be counting the tweets as they happen, making sure not to run up against the significant limits and throttling Twitter have put in place these days.

Every question about the Twitter API on Stack Overflow seems to be five to ten years old. Makes sense, if it's been pretty much locked down. Still, this was a fun project. Oh, and I did (finally) go to Trump Tweet Track — what a time-sink! — and, in terms of volume, apparently Mother's Day was just another day for him. (I won't comment on the content; need to go wipe my eyeballs now.)

End of Day 3

— jlj #100DaysToOffload

I'm writing this as part of the 100 Days To Offload project; join us at: https://100daystooffload.com/

What is going on with this Johnson government?

Does anyone know? My thoughts are on a roundabout, that, when I do manage to exit from it, swiftly appears on the horizon once more. Last night's announcement plumbed a new low, however, clarifying this mix of horror and despair in my head as other objectively terrible moments in this crisis have not managed. (My desktop background is a painting by the father of a former colleague called the NHS Poppies. So awful, their deaths, but I have not read the words that place the blame solely at this government's feet.)

This (seemingly cowardly) middle ground, disproportionately affecting those on lower incomes surely, would seem wrong under clear instruction. That it is coupled with limited, confusing instructions has to be deemed negligent. Criminally so, possibly. IANAL. To read the statements from teachers' unions — NEU, NASUWT — unable to imagine endangering their members, all the children, asking again and again for the data this 'science' is based on, is harrowing in a very specific way. And it isn't just as a parent.

It has to be incompetence. I genuinely want to believe they have the best intentions. And this shambles is all they could come up with.

I can't bear to read what this night has wrought.

— jlj